This is the 4th article in this little series.
This one to me is rather a big one, even though the article may not be that long. This article will also set up the 5th installment of this series, which to me is also going to be a rather big one in weight.
Again this series is on the shedding of falsehoods and the illumination of facts; falsehoods through covert conditioning/programming/brainwashing. To start with and yet again clarify, the hard facts are clear that I was trained by and used by the agency to be a hunter and killer of human targets and I worked in that field for around 16 years. I was taken into and used by a cult during my teenage years. These are facts that have never shifted in doubt for me as I have the skills and paperwork that shows those truths. However, this little series is the revealing of falsehoods that have been intricately and strategically laced through those facts that I have uncovered through the last handful of years in my healing process, privately and through professional levels.
You may remember in Shadow Scorpion that Blake had spoken to me a number of times about wolf genetics and werewolf capabilities within me. You may also remember my traumatic memory detailing a shift into a werewolf during a ritual. This memory was not a factual memory, meaning though my brain remembered it that way, the actual event that took place contained facts that were altered in my brain. Let me explain.
The rituals took place only after I was forcefully drugged and thus placed into some altered mental and even physical state. I could see, hear, feel, move, taste and fully interact in the ritual events, but the drugs put my brain into an altered state of awareness to where it would perceive events in ways more fantastical than they actually were. Again this takes place through chemical drug to brain/body alterations, power of suggestion and trauma, all of which was heavily involved in the rituals. Then of course in those rituals you end up sexually wide open, which leaves you even more susceptible to manipulation by those around you.
There was never any physical werewolf shift, then or anytime. It was all programming. Perhaps once things like that actually existed in the physical flesh, but today it is all programming, all of it. There is no were-sasquatch, werebears, weretigers, etc, etc, in the physical flesh in this world. It is all programming/conditioning/brainwashing. I will explain how it works to the best of my knowledge, at least how I feel it worked with me.
I have an incredibly strong connection and bond with wolves and always have in this life. It is one of my main animal Medicines/Totems and I have known this from the time I can remember. I feel them, I know them, I understand them and I never kept it a secret, even when I was a child everybody knew. The cult runners and ritual handlers simply used power of suggestion while they drugged me. Calling upon the beast and the ravenous hunger of the wolf, etc, etc. My ritual handler would say as we descended the stairs that she was bringing down the wolven beast to devour the sheep. What that did to my brain and body was just slip me into an altered state of personality. Now whether or not this “werewolf/beast” alter personality existed at that point or was created in the training facility I cannot say. Perhaps the rituals prior were setting me up for the real creation of refined alters later in the agency? Perhaps the ritual events, drugs and brainwashing were just groundwork? Maybe primal alters were being created there upon which stronger or more refined alters would be attached to or built upon in the training compound? I do not know and probably will never know, but I guess it really does not matter. The end result was the same.
Therefore before I ever entered the training facility the groundwork for such an intense and primal animal alter was already set up. The programmers could all too easily build upon that foundation and expand it. Later Blake would use that as triggering to probably open older more primal areas of my psyche so that he could manipulate me with greater ease. My guess is that he would tell me or hint around the wolf genetic thing and it would spin me into various alter states so he could communicate to programmed areas more directly. He would tell me about genetic experiments eons ago and old bloodlines… Years later other handler type people would reinforce these stories by telling me them again, working to keep those alters awake and accessible. Even through those crazy astral energy times in Maine when I was caught up in strange rituals with local people, the alters of beastly animal natures were evoked, used and thus kept alive and functioning. Through the many years there have been people there to work in that labyrinth to keep those alters in the forefront.
So what are these “codes” my handler was supposed to have? I think they were simply trigger codes to various and specific alter personalities that were conditioned into me years ago in training. I am sure some of those alters were animalistic in nature, but only in behavior and emotion, not in the flesh. I feel many of my first programmed alter personalities were animalistic, primal structures upon which many, many refined alters could be set upon. Why? My guess is there would have been numerous reasons. Perhaps one was to keep my strong natural connection to the wilderness at a heightened state through programmed animal enhancements? Maybe due to the nature of the violence the future alter personalities would need to become and partake in, they required base animalistic energies laid down first? I am sure there could be many specific reasons.
My first memory I have of shifting into a werewolf just happens to be the same year I was taken into the cult. Coincidence… I do not think so.
It was all conditioning/brainwashing and then programming starting I think when I was 13 years of age and then supported and used by numerous people throughout decades. It is truly amazing and disgusting what people can do to a person through forced drugs, trauma and powers of suggestion starting at such young, vulnerable and “ripe” ages and how deeply and long such conditioning can last. But there you have it, another set of facts uncovered and put forth to shed the skin of programmed falsehoods.
I have been continuing my diligence on self healing and have been making great progress on mental, emotional and physical levels. It makes sense but still it is amazing how making a break-through on one levels opens doors to realizations on the other levels as well. I may struggle and struggle, banging my head trying to make progress as the healing seems to drag by at a snail’s pace, and then all of the sudden the door opens and I fall flat on my face! When I pull myself up everything is so clear and makes so much sense. Healing is always amazing.